Central Plains Mennonite Conference
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The mediator's perspective
"Compassion for everyone takes me by surprise"

Picture
by Lois Janzen Preheim

      Entering a conflict situation is generally scary for me so I’m choosy about what conflicts I go to! But once I’ve met people and have heard the issues, I’m absolutely fascinated. The conflict usually exists for very good reasons. Sometimes, people start out with very different goals or assumptions. Positions in the family or community are shaping person’s interests. Feelings are involved. Often, earlier history is contributing to feelings and positions. In church conflicts, attachment to a certain outcome is hard to give up since it often feels like one’s very eternal life and Biblical understanding is at stake.

      As with a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle, I begin to sort out the conflict, laying out the pieces on the table. Then, I like the creativity of watching a more complete picture emerge that often has the solution right there as we move pieces around. My analytical and sorting-out self loves finding order and understanding, looking for the keys that open up space for a shift in perspective, a change in feeling, or a willingness to change a starting premise. It is very satisfying to me to watch how even small shifts in understanding or feeling can lead to reconciliation. Sometimes, it is enough for people to hear themselves say something out loud that they didn’t know they thought or felt.

       The place of a mediator is a good place to be. Since I didn’t start the fire, I can attend to the people and the situation in a calm way. It is this spirit of calmness that is helpful. Richard Blackburn calls it “the non-anxious presence.” I like preparing myself to be peaceful so that I can fully attend. In my own house, I’m way too self-involved. When I am mediating, however, I love finding that calm, still place where compassion for everybody involved takes me by surprise. For me, this calm presence mirrors God’s own peace and seems God-given.


Office Manager: P.O. Box 101, Freeman, SD 57029  office@centralplainsmc.org  phone: 605-929-3325
Ministry Staff Office: P.O. Box 352, Kalona, IA 52247
  • Home
    • About Us
    • Central Plains Structure
    • Staff >
      • Executive Conference Minister
      • Ministerial Leadership
      • Formation Minister
      • Hispanic Ministries
    • Map of Conference
    • Congregations >
      • Illinois
      • Iowa
      • Minnesota
      • Montana
      • Nebraska
      • South Dakota
      • Wisconsin
    • Board
    • Committees >
      • Christian Formation
      • Outreach and Service >
        • Church Planting
        • Peace and Justice Task Group
        • Practicing Offering and Receiving Hospitality
      • Pastoral Leadership
    • Partners in Mission >
      • Agape Peace Center
      • Philip Friesen
    • Camps & Schools
    • Who are the Mennonites?
  • CPMC at Work
    • MC USA Delegate Resources
    • Publications >
      • Scattered Seeds
      • The Sower
    • Events >
      • Annual Meeting 2022
      • Healthy Boundaries Training
      • Regional Meetings 2022 >
        • Regional Meeting Resources
    • CPMC Covenant
    • New Ministries Fund >
      • Reports of Past Grant Recipients
    • Counsel on variance
  • Congregational Leaders
    • Pastors
    • Elders & Deacons
    • Church Council
    • Support for Conflict >
      • Facilitation Services and Donations
    • Pastor Openings
  • Mission Leaders
    • Racism webinar videos
    • Ecuador/Venezuela Partnership >
      • Story of the Ecuador Partnership
      • Personnel and Partnership Members
      • Quito Property Fund
    • Church Planting >
      • Developing Congregations
    • Travel Like Dave
    • Missional Discipleship Initiative
    • Islam and the Gospel
  • Formation Leaders
    • Formation in Worship
    • Formation Resource Library
    • Children and Families >
      • Faith at Home
      • Curriculum for Children
      • Shine
      • Resources for Parents
      • Protecting Children
    • Youth >
      • Youth Sponsors
      • Youth Curriculum
      • Youth SS Teachers
      • Mentor Coordinator
      • CO Resources
      • Helpful sites for YM
    • Adults >
      • Adult Faith at Home
      • Adult Curriculum
      • Teaching resources
      • Adult Spirituality
    • Shalom Readers >
      • Book List
      • Shalom Readers Adult List
    • Curriculum Evaluation Tool
  • Resources
    • Anti Racism Resources
    • Bible study Webinars >
      • Bible Study Webinars 2016
      • Bible Study Webinars 2017
    • Conference Documents
    • Christian Discernment
    • En Espanol
    • Immigration
    • Mennonite Links
    • Spiritual Deliverance
  • Contact Us
    • Contact form
    • Church contact info form
    • Donate
    • COVID Relief
    • Discerning Future Leaders
    • Sunday Speaking Information Sheet